Daddy's Chateau

have you ever been into a situation where you have to make a very important decision that can leave a very big impact on your life and on your career?

well, today have to be one of those days where i was left with thousands of worries.

received a phone call from SUB Bhgn Korporat dan Kualiti, Bahagian Kabinet JPM:

her: en sani, u ada jumpa datuk mazidah ke lately?

me: ada puan..

her: berkenaan dengan apa tu?

me: pasal program pakar.. (dalam hati: apehal la plak kali ni? aku ada wat silap lagi ke?)

her: begini, datuk mazidah nak u transfer ke kabinet, immediately. u berminat ke kerja kat sini?

me: minat? (read: erkkk.. i have just started working in a new environment here in MoHR. and i still enjoy working here) saya kena fikir dulu la puan. boleh bagi saya masa tak?

her: ok. kat sini ada post 44 yang baru je kosong. orang tu dah naik 48. so datuk mazidah nak u datang sini ganti tempat dia..

me: boleh puan bagi saya masa untuk fikirkan dulu? sebab sekarang saya tak boleh nak bagi keputusan.

her: ok, u fikir la masak-masak dulu.

me: boleh saya dapatkan nombor telefon puan?nanti saya call..

her: ok.. 8888$$$$.. bila u nak call i bagi jawapan?

me: tengok la puan, mungkin petang ni atau esok.

her: ok, baiklah…

tuttt tuttt tutt tuttt tutt…

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so i went to my usual place.. kat tangga belakang opis, isap rokok, tenangkan pikiran dan start to think rasionally. but hey guess what? i cannot even think of anything. felt so shocked that i just stared at the asap from my rokok…

then came along my penolong pegawai.. asked his opinion and he advised me on the nature of work and the work load there… well, that really didn’t help me much..

then i went to see my former boss. he was with the cabinet for 4 years before. he, too, advised me not to go because of the nature of work there. hmmm… not so encouraging huh? i called a few friends who worked at the bhgn kabinet itself. yom and nizam. both of them explained to me how things go over there. something different of what the earlier told me.

however, still i can’t make up my mind. lost in my decision. as usual, puteh la jadi mangsa untuk mendengar rintihan dan pengaduan. puteh hanya mampu tersenyum dan mendengar masalah ni.

now i really don’t know who to turn to for a good piece of advice.

my phone rang again… now, it’s dato’ mokhtar yang telefon.

him: sani, i ada satu post 44 yang kosong kat bhgn ni. u berminat ke tak?

me: dato’, tadi puan farah dah call saya. i told her that i need some time to think about this.

him: ok, kalau u berminat, pagi esok u datang ke ofis i dan kita cakap pasal ni dengan lebih lanjut.

me: ok dato’, nanti saya maklumkan kepada dato’ of anything.

alamak, dato’ plak yang call. iskkk.. bertambah serabut kepala hotakku sampai tak boleh nak fokus kepada kerja. sedangkan ada satu paper proposal yang kena siapkan hari ni.

noon, i went for a lunch with nolee. told her the story and she just smiled (as usual, her smile makes my heart melt.. haahha)

after lunch, i decided that i want to see my dato’ KSU to seek for his words of wisdom. coincidentally, he went to my office just as i was about to go and see him at his office. so quickly, i went to see him before someone else does.

to my surprise, he was so sporting enough to sit down with me and discussed about this matter. he gave me the pro’s and con’s of working there in cabinet. however, different from other advises that i got before that, he did not mention anything regarding the workload and the nature of job there in kabinet. he explained to me about the skills and knowledge that i would get here in MoHR and there in Kabinet. his deep explanation really helped me a lot. i knew that i turned to the right person. he asked for a piece of paper and quickly drew a straight line to represent my career path. from there, he took me to the point of pursuing my masters, what skills that i can get from MoHR and cabinet, what sort of information that i can get from cabinet and MoHR. he explained to me about my competencies, and his expectation if i decided to continue working at MoHR.

lastly, he told me that he prefer me to stay at MoHR, but if i decided to go to kabinet, he would not object as that is my choice.

after seeking his advise, i knew that i can now make the decision.

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3.15pm:

me: dato’, it me, sani.

him: yes sani? have u made your decision?

me: dato’, actually i was quite surprised yet so happy that you and datuk mazidah has given me the opportunity to be in kabinet. but adto’, i’m quite new here in this institute, after being transfered from bhgn dasar.i have been given quite a few projects that i have to supervise. (bla bla bla bla…)

him: sani, from your intro, i dah tau jawapan u.. hehehe

me: hehe.. so dato’, i think that this is not the best time for me to leave this ministry. i really hope you and datuk mazidah will understand of my responsibilities here in KSM.

him: ya, saya faham.

me: terima kasih dato’..

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there, i have made my decision to stay here in MoHR. not because i am afraid of the job scope there in cabinet, but merely more to the fact that i cannot just leave my work here and go to a new place.

thank you dato KSU, for giving me the guidance and show me some light in this issue.

thank you friends, nolee, puteh, yom, medcham, nizam, cherrie, my penolong pegawai, my former boss, my former CC, and those who have helped me in clearing the clouds…

THIS IS THE BIGGEST DECISION THAT I HAVE EVER MADE IN MY ENTIRE CAREER IN THE CIVIL SERVICE

Hopefully, I am not going to regret later on….